Therapy for complex lives.
When what used to work no longer does.
Something feels unsettled. And it won't stay quiet.
You may be managing. Or stretched thin. Either way, it matters.
We stay with that moment long enough to see where it came from.
Not to correct you.
To understand what that voice has been trying to do for you, what it has cost, and what else might be true.
We work with the problem without letting it define who you are. We look for the context around it, rather than what you've been told is wrong with you.
The aim is clarity first. From there, more room to live in a way that feels consistent with what you know to be true.
Deborah Kitay, LMFT
Meet Debi
I work best with people who think carefully about their lives, and still find themselves in a familiar loop. Not because they lack insight, but because insight alone doesn't always change how a life feels from the inside.
In sessions, I stay close to the language you're using.
If a diagnosis has shaped how you understand yourself, we'll spend time exploring what it explains and what it misses.
If you describe yourself as the problem, we widen the frame.
The shift is often simple, but not small.
From "Something's wrong with me" to "This has been hard."
From "I should be better at this" to "I've been carrying a lot."
I'm a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT 105063) and I've been doing this work for over a decade. My approach is grounded in Narrative Therapy. I also have focused training in menopause-informed mental health and use EMDR when it helps loosen what the past is still holding in place.
Common Questions →- You've been holding it together, and something is starting to strain under the surface
- You don't feel like yourself lately, and the old story no longer fits
- Your emotions feel more intense or less predictable than they used to
- You've lived under "never enough" and you're tired of organizing your life around it
- You want a therapist who will stay curious and think with you.
How I Work
Narrative Therapy
Working with the stories shaping your life.
Examining the beliefs, roles, and expectations that have shaped how you see yourself.
Menopause and Midlife
Understanding identity shifts in midlife.
Holding the changes of midlife in a wider context.
EMDR
Reducing the influence of past experiences on the present.
Shifting the influence of past experiences on the present.
How It Works
Schedule a Consultation
A brief 15-minute call to ask questions and get a sense of fit.
First sessions
We start with what feels most unsettled right now and begin widening the context around it.
Ongoing work
We keep working. Carefully. Actively. Over time, you begin to see patterns you had not seen before, your language becomes less punishing, and you respond with more choice.
What this work tends to open up
Not a new version of you.
A truer one.
Over time, as context widens and language softens, you may notice:
- Less self-criticism, and a clearer way to express what you've been living
- More capacity for discomfort and uncertainty without collapsing into blame
- A more deliberate relationship to the expectations you've been carrying
- More room to act with integrity, even when the choice is not simple
COMMON QUESTIONS
A few things that often come up when considering therapy.
Do you offer a complimentary consultation?
Yes. I offer a complimentary 15-minute consultation to ask questions and see whether this approach feels aligned.
Do you offer telehealth?
Yes. Telehealth for clients in California, and in-person sessions in El Segundo.
How can I tell if this approach is right for me?
If you're looking for a therapist who will stay engaged, take your complexity seriously, and help you think more clearly about what's shaping your life, this may be a good fit. A consultation can help you decide.
When might this not be the right fit?
If you're looking for highly structured, skills-based treatment, intensive crisis care, or short-term symptom coaching, another approach may serve you better.
Depth and continuity.
Trauma-informed therapy.
Menopause-informed care.
